We did it! We successfully packed our stuff, said goodbye to our friends, and moved all of our crap from San Diego to the Geeeeorgia! It's hot here, where are the cool ocean breezes? And why do I have mosquito bites all over me? And what's all that racket out there? Georgia is noisy, like really noisy, but it's not traffic or The Dixie Chicks shooting their guns off, it's that great southern noise: it's the bugs, mostly the cicadas. They sit in trees and wiggle their butts, or rub their legs together, I don't remember but it's loud and pretty cool to hear. The place is ALIVE, and hot, did I mention that?
With our big move across country comes big changes, especially for Henry who's starting a new school and trying to make new friends. Thankfully I never had to move as a kid. Growing up in the same town your entire adolescence lets you keep all of your old friends that you made in the previous years, well except when you accidentally lose their favorite brown Wet 'N Wild lip liner and they stop talking to you WELL EXCUSE ME WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES YOU'RE NOT PERFECT YOU KNOW. No, I'm over it, it's fine.
I was lucky that I didn't have to start all over every three years, which is the lot in life for these military kids, but I'm hoping it does good things for our guy, sort of forces him to be flexible and outgoing. Plus it builds character, at least this is what I'm telling myself. Thankfully he's only six and still at the stage where making friends is pretty easy, he can just go up to someway and say, "Hi, will you be my friend? Yes? Cool." and then that's it. I wish it were that easy as an adult! Unfortunately you get strange looks at the gym when you go up to strangers and say, "Hi, I'm looking for friends, you want the job?" I have yet to receive a positive response to this, mostly just panicked looks and then they start pretending to talk on their cell phone. Whatever. Who needs you. I suppose I could always put an ad out on Craigslist for new friends, but honestly I'm just not in the mood to be murdered by a psychopath today.
But, my main concern is not whether I make friends in our new place, it's more about Henry making friends, because let's face it, friends are important when you're six. You can have wicked awesome Playdoh fights, car smash ups, bed jumping contests, and fart parties, basically life rules at this age.
We arrived in town about a month before school started and although we didn't know anyone here we were holding out high hopes that Henry would meet some same age kids on the street. This neighborhood is perfect for playing, lots of houses with big lawns and big driveways, very little traffic, speed bumps galore (not only good for slowing down traffic but also good for super awesome bike jumps). Unfortunately there appear to be NO kids on this street. Zip. Zero. What we do seem to have an abundance of are the senior citizen set who, although very nice and welcoming, don't seem to have too much in common with the world's most awesome armpit farter. I mean the lady next door who brought me a welcome to the neighborhood house plant seems very kind, but she didn't strike me as the armpit fart type, although I don't know this for sure, suppose I could always ask her.
Needless to say Henry was pretty bummed to find out we'd moved to what appears to be essentially a retirement community. How were we to know? No one was outside when we came to look at the house, actually no one is EVER outside in this neighborhood. All the residents drive up to their house, open the garage door, drive in, close garage door, and go inside. That's it. There's no "howdy neighbor!" business to be had, no one ever stays outside long enough for you to wave at them, it's weird. I'm hoping that this is just going to be the case during these hot weather months, maybe they're all just huddled inside by the AC trying to keep cool and bug bite free. Doug and I have tried prompting them to come out, we open the garage door, we set up the lawn chairs, we drink the wine, we talk. What do we get? Bupkiss. They're probably all sitting in their houses spying on us through the blinds, "What are those wackadoodles doing out in their garage? Don't they realize they could be inside with the AC?"
Obviously we were not making much progress in the neighborhood friend department so we decided to join the local YMCA with their plethora of family fun opportunities we couldn't go wrong. After much begging a pleaded for Henry to join one of the summer camps there he just wouldn't do it. "Henry, look at all these kids running around, you could be having fun with them! There are all kinds of camps we could do before school starts, you could meet some new friends!"
"NOOOOOOO! Don't make me!! Please! I DON'T WANNA!"
Well what am I going to do, force the kid? "YOU WILL JOIN AND YOU WILL LIKE IT, DAMMIT!" Typically I run under the "mommy knows what's best for you" credo but this time I just couldn't do it. I figured hey, school is starting soon, he's bound to meet some kids there, I'll just leave him be for now. We'll just spend these last few weeks by the YMCA pool (which is totally amazeballs by the way) before I start forcing him to do other activities like Tai Kwon Do, gymnastics and soccer, which of course is just a sample of the many things he doesn't want to join. (He only wants to swim and play baseball, that's it.)
The summer was fun, albeit short, and as all good things must come to an end school was about to start. August 6th for crying out loud, who ever heard of such a thing? I don't get it. In my day we started in September, like normal people. Regardless of this ridiculously early start time his school is great, first day went swell, the teacher is terrific and just after one week she already emailed me to say how "precious" he is and how she's really glad he's in her class. Awesome! Score! We have the world's best kid! WE RULE. How did this become about us?
This is the first time Henry has gone to a public school, he did pre-K and Kindergarten at a private Lutheran school in San Diego which was really small and awesome, I felt very comfortable having him there. It sucks that these days we have to worry about things like safety while they're in class. But, the school had all those delicious private funds with which to hire security and take extra precautions to make sure all was well on the school grounds. Plus, as it was run through the Lutheran Church, having Jesus there full time helped too. I sort of felt like kids were less likely to bully knowing that they have to go to Chapel later on in the day where they're taught that Jesus is watching their every move. (although I think this backfires in some of the kids, per example when Henry came home one day and said, "Mommy, do you know that you can do a bunch of wrong stuff whenever you want and Jesus will just forgive you?" Uhhh, that's not exactly what that means, son.)
Anyway, what you should be saying to yourself is, "Kristin, it's only kindergarten, I don't think you have to worry about bullies just yet." Yeah yeah, well I DO worry, I worry about everything when it comes to this kid, I can't help it. What if he gets bullied? What if he runs with scissors, what if he gets a paper cut and they can't stop the bleeding, what if there's a malfunction at the drinking fountain and water sprays all over his pants and the kids think he pee'd himself???!!! What if what if what if!!??? I have these what-if scenarios going through my head at all hours of the day, do other parents have this? It freaks me out, I love my kid so much I can't help but constantly worry about him. Which brings me to the main point of this post: kids riding the school bus for the first time or AKA how to incite crazy anxiety in your mother.
As I mentioned this is Henry's first experience with a public school, and therefore he gets the option of riding a bus to school, for free no less! Amazing. I never took the bus when I was kid, even though I went to public, the school was just close enough for me to walk. (can you imagine WALKING to school? Absurd.)
For the first week of school I drove him, just like I've been doing for his entire life, but when the second week rolled around we said he was going to try riding the school bus. This idea was being pushed along by my husband, an "old school" school bus kid. My only experience with the big yellow buses were from what I saw in movies. The cool kids sit in the back and beam spit balls at the ones in the front. Bus kids also smoke cigarettes and tattoo themselves with razor blades and Bic pens. This will all be in my next book: Things I learned from John Hughes movies.
Despite all my trepidation about this my husband put me at ease, assuring me the bus was safe and fine (except for that seat belt things, seriously, WTF) and that Henry's capable of doing this alone now. (He thinks I hover too much, he may be right. He also should go to bed, it's getting late.) For Henry, being a kid who has always been OBSESSED with massive vehicles like semi's, dump trucks, and school buses, the dude was stoked to ride the bus. Me? Not so much. I mean come on, he's my little guy! I always just drive him to stuff, that's how it's always been. I know exactly where he is, who he's with, what the other kids look like, it's comforting. I'm in control of this situation when I drive him. When he takes the bus? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!. I'm just supposed to send him off with this strange man who pulls up in front of the house in a yellow bus? BUT I'M ALWAYS TELLING HIM TO AVOID STRANGERS! And where will he sit? Will he have a tattoo when he comes home? And what if he forgets his backpack and/or lunch on the bus? Then what will happen? And what happens when they GET to school? They drop off in front, I always dropped him off at the side! Will someone be there to walk him to his class? DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHERE HIS CLASS IS?? And what happens at the end of the day? How will he know which bus to get on???? HOW WILL HE MAKE IT HOME WITHOUT HIS MOMMY THERE TO HELP HIM??? Ahhh! It's too much, I can't do it! ( Boy maybe I do have a problem.) But, for a first time bus rider mommy, this is a lot of stuff to deal with. This is some big letting go. I just had to assume that it would all work out, kids ride the bus everyday and live through it. They all manage to get to school and home again perfectly fine. It was just very stressful, I've never let out this much leash before and it's hard. I keep saying, "But he's only six!" I have a feeling I'll be saying this until the day I die. "He's not ready to live on his own yet, he's only twenty nine!"
But as much as I hate to admit it, he IS growing up, and he IS capable of doing some things on his own now and not wandering off. We go over the "what to do if a stranger tries to give you candy to get into his car" routine all the time. First time I asked him this his answer was, "You go with him. Duh. He's got candy." (So, my worry isn't TOTALLY unfounded here, people.) I just have to have confidence that he's taken to heart the things we've taught him and will remain alive during the time he's out of my direct line of sight.
All this has been a good learning experience for me, it's helping me to let go a little bit, which is something I NEED to do if I want him to be a confident independent kid, but part of me is just not ready to let my baby go yet. What's next, letting him ride his bike around the block, where I can't see him? I don't know about that, seems extreme.
Needless to say he DID arrive home alive and tattoo free the first day of taking the bus. He loves it and doesn't ever want to ride in any other kind of vehicle again. He's likes his school, hopefully he's learning some new things, and enjoying his new independence. He's already making some new friends, when I asked him the other day if he had a best friend at school yet he said, "Yep, the bus driver."
